My Nose Is Clogged And Dry And Other Things That Piss Me Off

One part of the MUET is down, another one more to go on the 17th of May.

MUET stands for Malaysian University ENGLISH Test. I couldn’t refrain from raising my eyebrows when the invigilator gave the instructions in malay. Uh, I thought we were sitting for an ENGLISH test. It didn’t help make the whole situation seem anymore professional when the guy threw in a couple of English words, “You can mula now.”

WOW! I’m so impressed with the English words like “You”, “Can” and “now”.

I think I’ll use that for my essay! Thanks! (The essay which I wrote 300 words more than the required amount and still had time for an hour’s worth of sleep.)

I’m not going to sound uppity and say that the paper was SO bloody easy because it was not, it was pretty confusing and I just hope to get the maximum Band6. Because English is the only language I can converse well in, write and read.

As most of the Malaysian university students would know, there are four components to the paper, one of which is the Listening component. A recorded text is played for the entire examination hall to hear and we were to answer questions according to the given text. Multiple Choice Questions.

The comprehension component was also in the form of Multiple Choice Questions.

There were no MCQs in my OTHER english university exam(bloody English For Academic And General Purposes, sien) and I got an A+ in that. My only A+ since I graduated from primary school. Oklah, besides English and lower secondary school maths that is. So really, please, a Band6 for MUET is not too much to ask.

ANYWAY.. you know how crucial it is that we pay full attention to the listening component? How every single syllable uttered from the speakers matter?

Right.

I don’t think the invigilators quite got the point though.

While we were trying our best to find the answers from the recorded text, the stupid invigilators were PEELING MASKING TAPE without ANY discretion whatsoever. You know, just going, “SHHHAAAAAA..PRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPP…STRRIIIIIPPPPPP….!!!”. I don’t know for what lah, perhaps to seal our earlier test papers. BUT STILL. HAVE SOME BRAINS LAH. WE ARE THE STUDENTS HERE AND YET WE CAN DIFFERENTIATE WHAT IS STUPID AND WHAT IS THE NORM.

Ohmygod.

And the CHIEF(I bet he doesn’t know this word since he doesn’t use english as a medium of instruction) Invigilator was chatting happily with another one of the lady invigilators. I could only here a constant string of mumbling and I was sitting about 8 seats away from the front of the hall. Imagine the poor students who are sitting in the first few rows, being bothered by every single distracting syllable uttered by those inconsiderate invigilators.

Let’s not focus on only ONE thing that pisses me off.

Let’s move on to bloody rude bimbos.


That’s my ex-housemate, Vinnie and her arm and the guy who is falling off his chair is Steven.

I should have taken a picture of the ceiling of my room in Kedah for this blog entry.(am back in Subang for the weekend). Anyway, one of the panels is curved downwards, threatening to fall. But one end of the panel is held up by the CEILING FAN and another end is held up by the FLUORECENT light. My biggest worry is that when it fully detaches, it’ll bring the fan and light down with it.

This could be one of my last time blogging in this blog. See ya folks. It has been a good two and a half years.

Okay, fine, of course I called the agent because I am not that stupid. They procrastinated sending someone over and insisted that the owner who would be coming up to Sg. Petani this weekend would like to see the ceiling for himself.

I called them on Tuesday. By the time Saturday comes around just so that the owners can have a look, the ceiling fan would have chopped of both my legs while I’m asleep and the fluorecent light bulb would have smashed to pieces and the shards of glass would have made me blind if I was fortunate.

If I was unfortunate, the ceiling fan might fall and decapitate my head AT an angle(think cutting Kai Lan stem style) and the fluorecent lamp would probably stab right through my head, whichever comes first.

The only good thing that will come from these choi-tai-kat-lai-si(choi, touch wood) incidents would be the ability to sue the pants off the real estate agent. And my insurance. And basically making a big hoo-hah over my freak accident.

So you guys heard it here first. Li Shen has the name of the company, get it from her if anything happens to me and help me seek for revenge ka-ching style.

Sigh. Will call them again when I get back to Sungai Petani.

**

Malaysian express buses? Same ol’ story.

If I drive from Selangor to Kedah, it takes a miniscule amount of 4 hours.

Take the bus and 2 more hours of your life is wasted.

Usually it is only 5 hours. Today it was 6 hours. I DON’T NEED TO PEE THAT OFTEN, GODDAMNIT.

And I know they have been warned not to go fast but at the speed I was going I could count the amount of white lines drawn on the tar road. Even a Kancil was faster than the bus. A decent speed should be a speed that is fast enough to see the strips of line that separates the lanes as a single white line.

Instead of reaching Subang at 8pm(plus ktm and lrt journeys) I reached at nearly 10pm. In the morning I cheerfully smsed my parents and told them I wanted to eat Jap food since I’m oh-so-pityful-and-nutritionless-in-Kedah and they said, “Sure dear! No problem~!”

🙁 By the time I reached home all the decent jap restaurants have already closed.

Feel so depressed, I think I’ll go to sleep now.

Paying my paternal grandfather a visit in Malacca tomorrow morning. It’s a little late for cheng beng but that’s how my family functions. Simplicity at its best. Crowds suck.

Young Love

You know the thing about MSN nicknames? Sometimes, they are like little storybooks that despict the life and times of a person. Everytime their nicks change, I chuckle along.

It’s cute enough that I have very very young cousins using MSN.

It’s damn cute that they even bothered to add me on MSN.

It’s EVEN cuter that their nicknames are like, “Oh why do I still like him after all this while?” and “I don’t know what to do now that she is not talking to me now..”. The first nickname belongs to a girl cousin and the second one belongs to a guy cousin respectively.

It was only yesterday that I layan-ed them when they wanted to play masak-masak with me or toy soldiers… eh wait, that was MY generation. It was only yesterday that I layan-ed them when they wanted to play Crash Bandicoot on PSOne with me.

So I observed the boy cousin’s nickname for sometime. “(girl’s name).. I can’t believe after everything I’ve done, you’ve blocked me on MSN?” The poor boy really sounds heartbroken! But damn, aren’t kids pretty vocal with their emotions these days?

Then there was once the girl cousin’s nickname read, “I really like this guy…..”.

*sigh* Yes, I used to do that alot too when I had ICQ. You remember the Info/About section where you could type whatever you want? I used to fill it with non-descript little poems that go something like this:

I come to school early to see your face,
Your presence left me in such a daze,
Dreaming that one day you will be mine,
The day when the stars align.

And I was 12.

Heh.

I mean I KNOW I should be sympathetic that my little cousins are going through rough patches in their boy girl relationships.. but I find it so cute that they now like the opposite sex! Yay!

At least they have MSN to express themselves these days. When I was much much younger, say about 8 years old, my mother gave me this little First Aid box which was made out of wood with a door that could be locked. I used to put all kinds of crap inside and would beat my brother up when he took my toys out of the box. (the key was not very difficult to find. It was usually put underneath the box.)

I even wrote a love letter in horrible magic colour pens to the boy who bullied me in class. I kept it in that first aid box, waiting for the right time to give it to the boy. I think it went something like,

“Dear Jin Yang(yes, if you know some top scorer in SAM Taylors 2005, that’s him.),
I think you should know that I like you. I wonder if you like me too?”

My mother found the letter and read it out to me with a naughty smirk on her face. I was so embarrassed but pretended to be nonchalant about it.

Rewind another 2 years back, I woke up from my afternoon nap and told my mum,
“Mummy, I’ve made up my mind to tell Ho Hoi Yew that I like him! Yes, I think I will do it tomorrow.”
And my mum just layan-ed and said, “Okay!”

LOL. I didn’t though.

In fact, the first time I used the internet to get in contact with my crush, I got accused of being a stalker.

Me: Hi!! It’s me, Pei Shan. From your class..!”
Barry: What are you, a stalker?

And when the Zhhhhnnnng chime from the ICQ alert stating that the “user has authorized me” rang through my speakers, my heart clenched in anticipation.

We were waiting for our UPSR results at that time somemore. LOL.

And yes, it’s the same Barry(you can find him on my friends’ links) we all know and love now. To my blogger friends, yea it is Suet Li’s Barry.

Truth be told, I never hated the opposite sex. I never got into the whole “ew, boys are icky.” phase.

I’ve always been one of those sad little hormones raging youngling who held a candle to any little boy who was taller than me. My young mind used to make little conclusions that as long as a boy is taller than me, he is worth my crush.

And I’d make little fantasies of us living life as husband and wife.
The obligatory wedding fantasy.
What kind of children we will have.
The scene where he’d be with me at the delivery room during the birth of our first child.

Just because those boys were taller than me.

I’m so the cheap.:P

At age 11, I already knew how to be jealous. A girl called Sze Wern and Barry had this thing going on and I was always shit pissed. I would think of horrible things that I could do to her and look at her with as much anger as I could muster and tried to channel it to her via telephatic messages. Hehehe.

At that time, I have not graduated to farting in faces, shoving shoulders and evil catty comments as methods of revenge.
I suppose the types of BGR vary according to the individual’s age.

Like for example, I don’t remember any girls of 13 years of age and below screaming, “HE’s SUCHHHHHH a bastard.” when it comes to getting their hearts broken.

That phrase is used ALOT now with girls my age. ALOT.

And I don’t remember talking about things like castrating and pulling out testicles when I was 12 years old and oh-so-in-love with hot seniors.

Girls get more vile with age.
Boys grow from insensitive to bastardious with age.

Young boys always say the stupidest things, “AIYER YOUR BREATH SO SMELLY..POOO..!”

But sometimes, boys are like Tamagotchi! Sometimes they can be really sweet with the right amount of nurturing from their doting mums. If only boys are really like Tamagotchi where we can press the reset buttons on some of them.

Girls? Demure, loud, fat, thin, young or old, we are all capable of making your life a living hell.

All the best to my young cousins! 🙂 For my girl cousin: Hope that the guy will be more mature and start to be nicer to you.
For my guy cousin: I’m sure if you send her another rose like you did for the previous Valentine days, she’ll be so touched!

56 Killer’s Lizard Room Mate, Practical Class and Party.

I’ve actually had this lizard roaming around my wall, just above my study table since a month ago. Actually, how long is a lizard’s life span? Anyway, it lives behind my stack of printer ink refills and comes out to play when there are bugs chilling on the wall. It’s quite fun to watch it pounce on  unsuspecting bugs. Once I even saw it attempt to devour a dragon fly whole.

My lizard room mate is damn cool.

Only thing is that I get a bit freaked out when I sleep at night because the left side of my bed is touching the wall and the wall is the same wall that the lizard roams on.

It’s so weird that it’s been over a month and it’s still staying there, happily killing bugs.

It doesn’t do cockroaches though.

I think I should name it. I’ve got a soft spot for it liao. When i’m waiting for people to reply me on MSN, I’ll stare at it as it cocks its head up and down and looks out for more bugs to it. Sometimes I even pick out tiny flying insects from the window sill and stick it to the wall so that my room mate lizard can put on a show for me.


The lizard which has taken up permanent residence in my room.


Going back to its home which is behind the ink refills. I’m treating it nice by cleaning its shit from behind the table every now and then. Okay, I’m lying. I’ve not gotten around to cleaning it yet.


Sometimes it goes and chill beside my bedside lamp.

Okay.. for those of you who have a queasy stomach, scroll down as quickly as you can and try to miss the next 5 or 6 photos yeah?


I don’t know how come Lie Yuen dared to put the fake brain so near her face. The lecturer touches the real brain and then caresses the plastic one to make a point. Without washing his hands.


This one lagi terrer.
l-r: Cze Yin, Poh Yee, Narjit
Oh yeah, more papayas from my papaya tree are ripe. #(*$&#%&#$..


Don’t they look like boobies?


Stupid birds.

Oh yeahh! We finally got our gas and are all ready to cook!(We bought a stove for like over a month and were too busy with exams).


Defrosting the chicken fillet!


Didn’t know that we needed a pipe to connect the gas. So clever hor.


When we went out to buy the pipe, we found more disasters.


Finally fallen.:( Got maggots somemore. Will put up a macro pic of it tomorrow! You think we can hire those bangla grass cutters to help us clean up or not? Neither one of us dare to touch it. ….*thinks*, maybe it’ll make a good blog entry. OKAY TOMORROW I CLEAN.


Eeee..


Yan Rui the Man was summoned to help us with the stove. Since he was the (only)man of the house.(for just a few hours lah..)


I like to chop the entire bulb of garlic and then keep it in the fridge. 🙂


And then there was fire!!

But we could still smell gas. I don’t know, they were the ones who told me they smelt something. I’ve got a blocked nose now. So I’d probably die alone in the house if the girls went back for the weekend.


Marinating the chicken.


Make me happy abit can? Say lah something nice.


Lie Yuen’s eggs.


Eggs with french beans!


Our chef! Who claims that she only knows how to cook eggs!


And is not bad at it!!


Our other chef, Jolene Lai, who has repetitive cooking styles. To quote Narjit when I showed her the pics later that night: “Lagi lagi kangkung… lagi lagi chicken+oystermushroom+onion”. Oei! People cook for you still want to complain!


sha..sha..


AND I FINALLY HAVE RICE TO EAT IN SUNGAI PETANI, KEDAH. I mean I’ve eaten rice in Kedah, but not once from my own rice cooker.


Nice or not??


Yan Rui said looks like blended cadaver parts. Thanks ah Yan Rui.


Lie Yuen’s fried eggs!


Makan~!!


This was taken with Lie Yuen standing on her chair. We felt so happy because we felt like we were back home.

Things Jolene learnt about cooking for the past two days:

1. Need more plates if you wanna cook.
2. Oil can be reused..*looks at tummy and goes “No wonder.”*
3. Rice stuck to the bottom of the rice cooker can be put in the fridge overnight and it’ll be easier to remove in the morning.
4. Newspaper can be placed on the floor where the stove is to avoid oil all over the place.
5. How to make sweet and sour sauce.

Things Lie Yuen learnt about cooking for the past two days:

1. The wok must be thoroughly dried before putting oil inside.
2. Salt can be put into the food with a spoon. (she used fingers to sprinkle!)
3. Mopping the floor after every meal(oil, and bits of garlic and bits of veggie) is quite a burden.
4. How to make sweet and sour sauce.

After cleaning up and taking a bath, we went over to our classmate’s place in the old housing area that I was in for our class rep’s surprise party!


The class trying to be quiet.


He was surprised yeah bla bla bla happy birthday bla bla bla bla pull the candle out with your teeth bla bla bla SLAM HIS FACE bla bla bla.


Happy belated birthday, Ebby!


Someone poured sparkling juice on the floor. Maxis is curious.


I KNEW I should have worn panties if I wanted to wear a skirt. Damn my periods.


Kidding~..


And then Maxis came up with an idea to play Limbo rock.


Ebby has a go.


You know why they’re laughing? I could not get across..and you know what was in the way?? Damn shy sial.


Jimmy gets support!


That Maxis ar..really can bend.


And we played train. Yes, the average age of my classmates is 21. Erm, youngest is me and Narjit(19) and oldest is like 24. Shy only.


Li Shen does not like me kissing her. So bad.


On the way back to our current housing area, we saw a Kancil with this signboard. Weird. I wonder if the guy is about to commit a crime or something?! Must be lah. Will submit this pic to the Star.:)

The Psychic Musical Meme

I usually never bother to do memes because I have something else to blog about and would rather have that post as the first one people see when they come to visit. But this one was too good to pass up.

Heck, I didn’t even get tagged. I was at Maya Abdullah’s Blog and I thought it’s pretty cool. Put your mp3 player/iPod/Windows Media Player and have it on shuffle mode. Read out the following questions and see what song comes up. Quite interesting..:)

1)How does the world see me?
Song: I cry by Westlife
“I cry hopelessly Cause I know I’ll never breathe your love again”
Alamak…people think I’m always crying when I fall out of love issit? The last time that happened I haven’t even grown boobs yet. Not that it relates……

2)Will I Have A Happy Life?
Song: Fever by Kylie Minogue
LOL So I’m like supposed to be flirting with a cute doctor to be happy in my life? Chi sin. Why cannot flirt with my darling pharmacist to be?:)

3)What Do People Really Think Of Me?
Song: She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5
Um..beauty queen of only 18? Was lah, was lah. Ahaha. NO!! And what’s this, that some desperado wants me back? Sounds stalkerish somemore.

4)Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Every Breath You Take by BSB
“Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you”

LOL!!! Damn stalker wei. I LOVE IT. Hahahahaha.

5)How Can I Make Myself Happy?
Song:Part Of Your World from Disney’s Little Mermaid
What? Is there some alternate world that I want to go to? Some life other from this that I want to lead?

6)What Should I Do With My Life?
Song: Hey Ya by Outkast
This song is a little disturbing. It speaks about the guy who walks out on this girl whom I assumed he banged. No. I’m not a loose child. But this is the first time I’ve sung along to the lyrics. Try it!! Damn fun! Like a bloody tongue twister.

7)What would be good advice for me?
Song: Love Is by Bsb
“Love is kisses in a bean bag chair
The two of us but no one there
Love is the moment that I climb the stairs
To hold you in my arms after we make love
Love is waking up to see your face
Or kissing in the morning rain
Love is The only thing that keeps me sane
At the end of the day is that I’ve got you

You’re my secret place where I can be myself
You connect with me like nobody else
Even though our circumstances changed
Our love still remains
Meet me on the ground, still you help me fly
You taught me to be patient, I taught you to rely
So no matter what tomorrow brings
We got the simple things cause (noooo)”

The simple things.. our own story. Yes. I’ve taken that advice some long long time ago and see how happy I am today. Love doesn’t have to be complicated..:)

8) What do i think my current theme song is?
Song: Kiss From A Rose by SEAL
“I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, The more I get of you,
Stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grave.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.”

Self explanatory eh..? *blush blush*

9)What does everyone think my current themesong is?
Song: I Get A Kick Out Of You – Jamie Cullum
“I get no kick from champagne.
Mere alcohol doesn’t thrill me at all,
So tell me why should it be true
That I get a kick out of you?

Some get a kick from cocaine.
I’m sure that if I took even one sniff
That would bore me terrific’ly too
Yet I get a kick out of you. “

Hahaha.. it’s nice to know that people get a kick out of me. 🙂 The freaky thing was that Chee Kiang actually told me that song reminds him of me (when I pestered him what songs reminds him of me). But it’s nice to know that i give kicks to other people. Hahaha.

10)What song will be played at my funeral?
Song: Hit Me Baby One More Time by Britney Spears
Firstly, let me apologize for having THAT song on my computer. But it’s so catchy!
The rest of the lyrics are so NOT appropriate to be used in the occasion of my death.

Wait, let me read the lyrics properly first:
“Oh baby, baby
How was I supposed to know
That something wasn’t right here
Oh baby, baby
I shouldn’t have let you go
And now you’re out of sight, yeah
Show me how you want it to be
Tell me baby ’cause I need to know now, oh because

Chorus:
My loneliness is killing me
I must confess I still believe
When I’m not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time”

LOL touching lah, that me being gone causes loneliness in some people. :) But can’t do no hitting now that I’m dead, can I? And by hitting I mean ASS SMACKING as I used to do that alot as a child, ahem.

11)What type of men do I like?
Song: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart by Bee Gees
No this is definitely wrong. I can never deal with an emotional man. I’d bitch slap him and tell him that if he doesn’t appreciate his having-of-a-dick, my dog would have better use for it. For nutrition purposes of course. One of my friends dumped her ex because he always had low self esteem and would constantly say things like, “AIyoh, i DAMN suck….. my life sux… i am such a terrible boyfriend..”. I think my friend got psycho-ed by him and believed that he DAMN suck and that his life sux and that he was such a terrible boyfriend.

12)What’s my day going to be like?
Song: Fly by Hilary Duff
“You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can’t in life
And start to try
‘Cause it’s your time
Time to fly”
Corny lyrics. But inspiring none the less.

13)Why Am I Here?
Song: Hey Love by Jason Mraz
It does make sense that I’ve been put on Earth to add up to the bunch of naive people around.

14)What will people remember me for?
Song: Two Beds and A coffee Machine by Savage Garden
“And she takes another step
Slowly she opens the door
Check that he is sleeping
Pick up all the broken glass
And furniture on the floor
Been up half the night screaming
Now it’s time to get away
Pack up the kids in the car
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write

Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on”
HAHAHAHHAA.. I’ll be a wife who kena abused by her husband is it? Don’t worry, the moment my husband dares to hit me, I’ll take everything that is dear to him and leave with the kids. Because you know, kids besides for the love and emotional support, they are also good for seeing you into your golden years with financial support.

15)Are there people outside waiting to take me away?
Song: If Only Tears Could Bring You by Midnight Sons
“Look in my eyes
And you will see a million tears have gone by
And still they’re not dry”
hahaha..perhaps someone I used to knowand whose heart I broke? Not that I recall any.

16)What will this year be about?
Song: This Love – Maroon 5
Haiyoh, hope not lah. 🙁

Anyway, I don’t like to tag people so if you think this would be interesting, go do it and leave me a comment so I can come and see if this psychic musical meme is actually working or not.