The Ham Sap Por Way To Trap Innocent Boys

Funny how I can turn Esther’s request to snap some photos of architecture in Subang Jaya for her uni assignment into a step by step guide on how to menghamsap young, handsome and innocent boys.

This entry must be read in a horror-story narrative type of voice, okay? Get set, go!

Our first victim was Mr. Julian Han Yijin. He naively took notice of my MSN nickname which screamed, “Miss Lai, you need teman to go around taking photos of houses in Subang Jaya. Please look for one!”.


Oh how I salivated when he happily climbed into my car. I have a boy in my car. Yes, it was going just as I had planned. Dimples are a favourite. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Young boys. *rubs palms*


He brought me to a friend’s house. The other boy’s name was Adrian Tan. He was a fine young specimen too. The beast in me was hungry for the other young boy as well. However, he had to study for his anatomy paper or all his dreams to be a doctor would be doomed. I guess I shall allow him to nurture a little more before reaping all that he is worth in a few years’ time when he grows into a handsome and wealthy doctor. Yes, the plan shall be so.


I brought our innocent and handsome Yijin to the nearby park and made him do silly poses for me. Little did he know what I really wanted… *rubs palms and licks lips*


Of course, of course. I must also pretend that I’m taking photos of houses. Ahem.


The park was nice and empty and I had Yijin all to myself. MUAHAHAHAH.< -- supposed to be evil laughter you know?


What a happy child he is. The more I look at him the quicker I want to get to business. He is falling deep(oooh!) into my plans. Yes.. yes..excellent….


I needed to assess his physical attributes. Hence, I made him climb the tree for fun(oh but it was more fun for me!). I had the chance to examine his physique like seeing if his butt is succulent enough. Mmm.


However, he was too blur to notice my advances. I had to bring him to a more secluded place. I told him I “needed some photos of the housing area from a higher place,”. He lapped it up and followed me wherever my heart contented.


I needed to pretend, you see.


The cheeky little boy played hide and seek with me. Why, he is SUCH a naughty boy. He’ll be punished very very very badly later. Very badly..


Oh such innocence is a rarity indeed.


However, in the midst of my ‘plans’, I was distracted by such beautiful and unique architecture.


I could not resist myself from the photography opportunities. *shakes head* I MUST KEEP FOCUSED!


I quite like this picture too, yes.


I needed more time alone with Yijin, so I drove the both of us to a nearby park. It was empty and serene. Perfect!


Another trick to distract your victim would be to keep them occupied by letting them camwhore all they want.


Make sure nobody is following your suspicious looking car.

I sent Yijin home and finished what I set out to do. Yes, what happened will remain a traumatic scar in Yijin’s young and brief life.

My second willing victim was the manly Calvin Ho who sometimes wants to be known as Calvin Hood(akin to Robbin Hood) because of his intentions to steal for the poor(when he is bored). He also likes the name because he only has to add an ‘od’ at the back of his surname, very convenient for him, he says.


My victim was too good to be true. He offered to fetch me, the one who holds his destiny. He is a brave man. I like brave men. Mmmmmm.

I brought him to a park in SS19. A housing estate where I spent the first 3 years of my tumultuous life.


Calvin refused to climb the tree for me. I could not carry out the same physical assessment that I managed to carry out with my first victim, Yijin.

 
I made him sing me a song as a punishment.


To encourage this slightly more introverted victim to open up, I had to go around and show him what it was like to let loose and enjoy the moment.


Calvin decided to wonder around aimlessly, unaware of my preying eyes.


Air liur meleleh..


My, my, what a cheeky little boy. He shall get what he wants….oh yes.


I had more ideas for places to go to carry out my cleverly devised plan.


Just like with the first victim, I had to remember that I had to keep up with the pretense.


And suddenly Calvin decides that he is camera shy.


One of my favourite places to keep the boy all to myself in an extremely secluded place: another overhead bridge.

By the way, if you can read the sketching on the pillar, someone wrote, “I love Kelvin Teh Kai Vern”. This dude lives on my row and has a sister my age. When he was in form5, I was only in form2.


Once again, I got distracted.


I had to keep my specimen cheery for better results ..for later. HeheheheehMUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


Little did he know that the sign pointed to something that he never ever wanted to happen.

My clever plans went well, I must say. I am extremely satisfied.


Very very very very satistied. MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

———————————————————————————————

LOL. Nah, Yijin and Calvin, this is the ‘mystery’ post that I’ve been promising you guys for damn long already. Hahahha. What do you expect me to blog for a house-photo-taking trip? Sure sien one ma. Must talk crap once in awhile.

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13 Things I Am Happy About

I honestly can’t explain the good mood that I’m in, but I suppose it’s good to start a new blog with happy vibes! 

Happy Reason 1#: Watching The Devil Wears Prada 

After having a super early breakfast session with Sush(Bye babes! Gonna miss you for these 10 months!), Mun Teng and I headed off to Pyramid to meet up with Kwo Kuang and Yijin for The Devil Wears Prada. For a very disorientated and stuck-in-an-ulu place person like me, having the chance to see one of the most anticipated chicklit to movie transition is a damn big deal.

I’ve learnt my lesson since the Da Vinci Code. If a book is going to come out in the movies, I’m not touching the book. As a result, I enjoyed the movie so much! The clothes, OMG, the clothes! The bags could probably like pay for my education as well as Kwo Kuang’s and Mun Teng’s added together. Yijin’s education no need to pay one, so his only usage for the bags is to buaya air stewardesses.

The casting was really nice and I loved the storyline too. If you haven’t already watch it, better go before they stop screening it! It’s damn good!


We headed to Jack’s Place for lunch. Kwo Kuang enjoying his chicken something something.


MUn Teng and her dory.


Yijin and his hiau lou look.


I know I’m boring for always choosing spaggheti. But I love my pasta!


Driving in the rain. Damn Subang Jaya storms.

Happy Reason 2#: Seeing my boyfriend and camwhoring together

Chee Kiang came back for his mid term(i think) break. It’s just too bad that I only had two days to spend with him after not seeing him for three weeks. Such are the perils of long distance relationships.


In Subang Parade’s elevator after dinner at TGIF’s! No Smashpop, I didn’t copy you!:P I thought of this long before you put the picture up… ehhe. But at that time the elevator had too many people, so we didn’t get a chance to do this silly pose.

Happy Reason 2 and a half#: Camwhoring with Chee Kiang Somemore and Watching S’Kali Too!

We went to Cineleisure Damansara to catch S’Kali, rushing down the LDP because we were worried that we were late and that our seats were already given out.

It’s cool to know that our chosen seats are still available. However, we soon discovered that we were the only two people in the entire cinema! I thought S’kali had a hell lot of publicity?? What happened?

With legs propped up on the seats in front of us(okay, maybe just me, Chee Kiang’s more well behaved than me. hehe), we tried to make sense of the movie as it started without us(how dare they, what with us being the only patrons).

After one hour and abit more, Chee Kiang came out of the movie deep in thoughts. Don’t mind him, he has adapted a very critical/artsy fartsy air of perception now that he has been studying Singapore Theatre and Arts or something like that as his elective. According to him, the show was very artistic! Hehe, and we were trying to figure how close S’kali relates to the realities of the typical malaysian youth.

Inter-racial relationships…..check!
The advantage bumis have in university admissions….check!
Mamak sessions….Check check check!
Owning own vehicles…check!
Playing in bands……… check!

Emotional chinese boy who seems like he has no mood for anything and still has friends? Not real.

Dialogues like, “Someone’s been out in the sun too long!~” when trying to say someone is abit crazy. Not real also. Usually it’s “Gila already ar?”

But Chee Kiang suspected that the director is trying to bring this movie to an international level hence the slightly un-Malaysian dialogue. But don’t worry, it’s still got a good dosage of lahs and mahs.

I felt I could relate so much to Sze Huey(played by Davina Goh) when she sat on the floor with her laptop on the ground and one leg curled towards her chest like a trishaw puller. That’s just SO me.

The alcoholic Teshmina(is that her name?) wasn’t that convincing because we saw too many scenes of her being way too sober. Furthermore it’s difficult for us to relate because ..well, maybe because I’m naive, but I’ve yet to come across anybody my age who are suffering from an alcohol problem.

Bahir(the malay boy who is trying to get into the local music industry) speaks too poshly for a typical Malaysian. Maybe he went to a private school or something?

I love Ravin’s character the most. He was just himself and he allowed the Malaysian in him to bring out the lines. Because understandably the cast are mostly noobs(and to be fair, were more than good enough to carry out the storyline) so when given a script, I’d probably be like them, speaking with the slight hint that it was from a passage. Just not natural enough you know? But Ravin’s character was the most natural one.

Other than that, I loved the fighting scenes. So real and raw! Ooo!


After the movie I brought Chee Kiang to meet my Aunty/Godma at her sticker stall in Ikano. … You know how relatives are, after they are done nagging you to find a boyfriend, than when you have one, they nag you to ‘bring them home’. I think bringing to her stall is close enough to bringing him home? (Which I have done already, we watched Scary Movie 4 on Saturday night at my place.:P)


His ‘cool’ look. I fail kau kau.


Innocent. He fail.


Young nerdy boy and old haggard goat/man/Osama Bin Laden.


Supposed to be an I-look-at-you-you-look-at-me pose. Clearly, he got the concept wrong.


I like this pic because of the cineleisure building in the background.

Happy Reason 3#: Meeting Up With Justin, Daryl, Gaya, Nadine and Jon at Mont Kiara’s Coffeebean.We met up with the rest to talk cock after that.

We met up with the rest to talk cock after that.
L-r: Stoned Justin, Happy Daryl


L-r: Bored Nadine, Constipated Gaya


L-r: Hamsap Justin, Intrigued Daryl


l-r: Closing Eyes Jon, Tak Layan Nadine, Tak Layan 2# Gaya.

Hahahhaa to commemorate Jon’s new girlfriend, Daryl created a song for him. The quality is quite bad.. just wait until I get myself a spankin’ movie editor and I’ll upload tons of stupid videos that nobody will care about. Yay!

Happy Reason 4#: Being Told That Angel Is Now Allowed To Sleep With My Mother While My Dad Is Away


Angel sleeps on the bed throughout the night. No shit.

Happy Reason 5#: My Boyfriend Pujuking My Emo-ing Heart


To those of you who are not familiar with the hall traditions in NUS, let me explain. Chee Kiang is staying in Sheares and they were having this thing called Buaya Week awhile back.

The game is abit like the Angels and Mortals game. Everybody picks a name randomly and you’re supposed to think of magnificient ways to “buaya” the person(which is, duh, a member of the opposite sex.) and then if you are good, win the Buaya King title at the end of the game.

So he did really sweet things like making dessert for his ‘buayee’ and pasting paw prints from her room to the common fridge. I think he also made her honey-lime-juice because she was having a sorethroat. He even pasted words with the letter V on lavender clothes and hung them in the hall way because her name starts with V(V for Vivien!).

Obviously I emo-ed lah.

Then that night he told me he made something for me too! It was a cute placard with the words, “You will always be my buayee” done in red ribbons. Hehe. Thanks dear! *kisskiss*

*grabs puke bucket for those who are reading this*

He didn’t win Buaya King by the way. Too bad! He had a buaya too. She decorated his door with some hearts or something like that. I think he’ll be putting up photos on his blog when he gets back to Singapore.

Happy Reason 6#: A Chicken Suddenly Appears Out Of No Where


Cock(ooo!) spotted just before I entered a vegetarian restaurant for lunch on Tuesday afternoon. The irony!

Happy Reason 7#: Having Appropriate Breaks In Between Classes To Catch Up On Sleep


L-r: Thong, Chee Wen, Sett, Jimmy, Andy.

Classes are THAT draining. I took this photo before slipping into a good half an hour of well deserved sleep.

(Very)Happy Reason 8#: HP Deskjet F380!


Can you tell which is the real object and which is the photocopied(in colour!!) image?


Meet my brand new 3-in-1 printer! I am IN LOVE. For only Rm279, this printer can scan, photocopy in black and white AND in colour and of course, print. Can even print photos!!

They even threw in a cuddly FM radio which I toss around on my bed. Reception is damn good too! I’m a very happy girl.

Happy Reason 9#: I Wrote THREE Articles For The R.Age.

Phui Yee of R.age who previously contacted me to contribute for a blogger’s beware story asked me if I was interested to write for their section R.Age @ Campus where they’d feature different universities and colleges in their issues. Students were to form a team and write for the publication about the happenings at their campus and stuff like that.

Since AIMST is still quite foreign to most Malaysian students, I took the opportunity to play ambassador for AIMST.


Written by me, photos taken by me. 🙂

If you want to layan me, read and read.


Second article(Exam Time). Photos taken by me. Tha’ts Lie Yien’s comic on the far left hand corner.

Layan me…read


Third article: I wrote on Life In Sungai Petani. I love the photo they used as a header. I took it when I visited Lie Yuen’s grandma’s kampung back in February. Layan me-> read!


brenda’s article!

Happy Reason 10#: Multipurpose Brooches


The RM3 for 10 butterfly brooches I bought from The Curve’s Bazaar over the weekend have many many uses.

Happy Reason 11#: Taking Photos of Every Practical Class


Microscoping view of a transverse section of a tooth.

I’m so happy that the photos I took last year of my practical classes helped almost all my classmates to pass their finals. Last year I only started half way through the academic year. This year I’m well prepared!

Happy Reason 12#: Pretty Looking Food


I love snow peas! Thought this photo looked too pretty to be left in the gigs and gigs of files in my harddisk.

Happy Reason 13#: Buying New Stickers


Lie Yuen bought me some ‘dentistry’ stickers over the weekend. Hehehe so nice of her right?


I bought these fruity stickers from MPH. Got 3d stickers as well!


Glittery unicorn.


Transparent blueish stickers. LOVELOVELOVE~


And my favourite Sandylion stickers:) These were actually presents from Jill and Sarah I think.. for my 18th birthday! Hahahha. Ages ago!

Bye Bye Jayelleenelial.blogdrive.com!

It has been a good 2 years and 10 months over here.

This entry would be my 623th and I’m leaving blogdrive. I thank you for all the fun and convenience(and the occasional server down times) that blogdrive has given me.

An avenue to be myself and maybe even become that someone I never really thought I could be before opening this blog.

A reason to keep in touch with friends.

A reason to make so many more friends.

A photoalbum filled with almost every waking moment of mine.

A journal that chronicled my thoughts, ideas, weirdness and experiences of sorts.

 

… I’ve enjoyed every single bit of blogging.

 

 

I guess it’s time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

TO MOVE TO MY OWN DOMAIN!! WHOO HOOO!!!

WWW.JAYELLEENELIAL.COM HAS ARRIVED!!

fooled ya, didn’t I?

To commemorate this (grand) occasion, i’d like to hear a word or two from friends and silent readers alike in the comments about your earliest memory of me and my blog and REMEMBER TO CHRISTIAN THE COMMENT BOX OVER AT MY NEW BLOG TOO YEAH?

Do remember to change your links, but I’ll be going around and bugging you lot too.