Comments on: Becoming A Mother When You’re Still A Child http://jayelleenelial.com/becoming-a-mother-when-youre-still-a-child/ The Jolene Mentality - Shameless, Disgusting, Silliness. Tue, 15 May 2012 12:51:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Dadyio http://jayelleenelial.com/becoming-a-mother-when-youre-still-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-18484 Dadyio Fri, 25 Apr 2008 05:36:23 +0000 http://jayelleenelial.com/?p=605#comment-18484 I was 21 and she was 19, still in uni. Couldnt cope with what our parents would say, so we decided the obvious. Problem solved and never again thought bout it. Now 35 I'm married not to same gal. we had our first child. Seeing him in my arms i felt regret over what i had decided long ago. I should have given the child a chance to live..no matter what the repercussions. <strong>jo: i'm sorry to hear that...:( I really am. So sad. Does your wife know about your past? I guess with this child you can afford to give him all the love in the world... at least others will be happy to know that you have a heart if you know how to regret. :) </strong> - I was 21 and she was 19, still in uni. Couldnt cope with what our parents would say, so we decided the obvious. Problem solved and never again thought bout it.

Now 35 I’m married not to same gal. we had our first child. Seeing him in my arms i felt regret over what i had decided long ago. I should have given the child a chance to live..no matter what the repercussions.

jo: i’m sorry to hear that…:( I really am. So sad. Does your wife know about your past? I guess with this child you can afford to give him all the love in the world… at least others will be happy to know that you have a heart if you know how to regret. :)  
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]]> By: aMy http://jayelleenelial.com/becoming-a-mother-when-youre-still-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-18422 aMy Wed, 23 Apr 2008 07:09:39 +0000 http://jayelleenelial.com/?p=605#comment-18422 omg, this post reminds me of a friend who had an abortion when she was 18 years old. Recently she told me that, occasionally, she will dream of child trying to reach out for her. well, she believed that its the baby that she aborted few years back. im starting to worry bout her now, coz she kept telling me that she regretted what she had done in the past! she added that, "or else my baby will be 7 years old this year, and attending school already"!! its really sad...haih.. <strong>jo: that's kinda freaky!! ... please be there for her.. but if it worsens.. maybe you should talk her into seeing a psychiatrist or something? it's not healthy you know. she calls him "my baby"? :( that's so sad. :(</strong> - omg, this post reminds me of a friend who had an abortion when she was 18 years old. Recently she told me that, occasionally, she will dream of child trying to reach out for her. well, she believed that its the baby that she aborted few years back. im starting to worry bout her now, coz she kept telling me that she regretted what she had done in the past! she added that, “or else my baby will be 7 years old this year, and attending school already”!! its really sad…haih..

jo: that’s kinda freaky!! … please be there for her.. but if it worsens.. maybe you should talk her into seeing a psychiatrist or something? it’s not healthy you know. she calls him “my baby”? :( that’s so sad. :(
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]]> By: JuLJuL http://jayelleenelial.com/becoming-a-mother-when-youre-still-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-18376 JuLJuL Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:28:34 +0000 http://jayelleenelial.com/?p=605#comment-18376 Very touching. ="( <strong>jo: yeah=(</strong> - Very touching. =”(

jo: yeah=(
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]]> By: Kelly http://jayelleenelial.com/becoming-a-mother-when-youre-still-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-18375 Kelly Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:08:07 +0000 http://jayelleenelial.com/?p=605#comment-18375 Kudos to another thought provoking post. I've often thought to myself...if ever the day comes that I would have to make the decision, and if I chose the path of abortion..would I be able to look at myself in the mirror everyday knowing that I did that. I graduated a 10 months ago and although I'm working now, truth to be told, if I'm to bring a baby into the world right now I don't think I would be able to provide him/her the way our parents provided us. A huge salute to these young mothers for being prepared and are taking responsibility of their actions. Do you think you could provide their links to me? Thanks in advance:D <strong>jo: :D So did you enjoy my efficiency? I know..i know.... but somehow, what i care about is the stigma you know? Coz i don't have a stable salary now.. but when i do in the future, it's easier. even a thousand bucks a month might be hard, but it's still money that comes in steadily. though difficult, still money.</strong> - Kudos to another thought provoking post. I’ve often thought to myself…if ever the day comes that I would have to make the decision, and if I chose the path of abortion..would I be able to look at myself in the mirror everyday knowing that I did that. I graduated a 10 months ago and although I’m working now, truth to be told, if I’m to bring a baby into the world right now I don’t think I would be able to provide him/her the way our parents provided us.

A huge salute to these young mothers for being prepared and are taking responsibility of their actions. Do you think you could provide their links to me? Thanks in advance:D

jo: :D So did you enjoy my efficiency?

I know..i know…. but somehow, what i care about is the stigma you know? Coz i don’t have a stable salary now.. but when i do in the future, it’s easier. even a thousand bucks a month might be hard, but it’s still money that comes in steadily. though difficult, still money.
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]]> By: Denise http://jayelleenelial.com/becoming-a-mother-when-youre-still-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-18374 Denise Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:51:51 +0000 http://jayelleenelial.com/?p=605#comment-18374 I went through LAN subject and they actually showed how abortion is done. Cruel.. Anyway I've decided to go crazy with you by joining the eat shit sleep blog! =P <strong>jo: :( i saw before too. very sad. OH YAYy!!</strong> - I went through LAN subject and they actually showed how abortion is done. Cruel..
Anyway I’ve decided to go crazy with you by joining the eat shit sleep blog! =P

jo: :( i saw before too. very sad. OH YAYy!!
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]]> By: wookie http://jayelleenelial.com/becoming-a-mother-when-youre-still-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-18364 wookie Tue, 22 Apr 2008 07:14:06 +0000 http://jayelleenelial.com/?p=605#comment-18364 This is exactly a question which I kept asking. Whether is it alright to continue pursuing mother's goals after giving life? I'd say I'd love to, but the baby constantly needs attention because at their months of birth, they could see, yet in blurry image of what their mother looks like, and that image will be presumed as their caretaker, and they would love that image the most. It's a painstaking way to be, these teenage mothers and whether does it jeopardise their life. I'd say if they love their children, and had been mentally prepared for them, then it will be a good thing, but if not, these parents resent and regret their life for it, will that be a good thing then? I don't know, but I'm still in the stage whereby if motherhood comes now, I'll really put my goals down, but I'll hurt myself with guilt and resentment, not to mention the time wasted to pursue my personal achievements. <strong>jo: sigh... true that true that. but if we can learn to love, we can still learn to love later on in life. :) I mean in time your baby will understand what's best for everyone. :) but i believe motherhood kicked in for all of them. they all love their children, no matter how unready they are:) It's just how nature works! we'll get there someday:D LOL well.. there's a stage for everyone I guess. my stage would be to pass the baby to my mum then okay continue studying/working. :P </strong> - This is exactly a question which I kept asking. Whether is it alright to continue pursuing mother’s goals after giving life? I’d say I’d love to, but the baby constantly needs attention because at their months of birth, they could see, yet in blurry image of what their mother looks like, and that image will be presumed as their caretaker, and they would love that image the most.

It’s a painstaking way to be, these teenage mothers and whether does it jeopardise their life. I’d say if they love their children, and had been mentally prepared for them, then it will be a good thing, but if not, these parents resent and regret their life for it, will that be a good thing then?

I don’t know, but I’m still in the stage whereby if motherhood comes now, I’ll really put my goals down, but I’ll hurt myself with guilt and resentment, not to mention the time wasted to pursue my personal achievements.

jo: sigh… true that true that. but if we can learn to love, we can still learn to love later on in life. :) I mean in time your baby will understand what’s best for everyone. :)

but i believe motherhood kicked in for all of them. they all love their children, no matter how unready they are:) It’s just how nature works! we’ll get there someday:D

LOL well.. there’s a stage for everyone I guess. my stage would be to pass the baby to my mum then okay continue studying/working. :P
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]]> By: lisenielle http://jayelleenelial.com/becoming-a-mother-when-youre-still-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-18346 lisenielle Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:56:32 +0000 http://jayelleenelial.com/?p=605#comment-18346 "Are parents equally heart broken when their working daughters fall pregnant before marriage as they do when their daughters get pregnant while pursuing their studies? Do all girls have to stay at home and be a mother once they deliver their child? Can’t anybody else help them with the baby while they go about completing their goals?" All I can say about the above sentences is that, firstly, yep, mothers ARE equally heartbroken if their working daughters become pregnant before marriage. It's not as bad as the stigma of having kids while still a teenager, but still, when you first start working, you won't have the money to support your kids yet. The worst part is if you just started working and still in probation, the company MIGHT think that you're not commited enough and fire you. My bf's bro went through that before, and now his wife is having problems getting a job. Got diploma, got kid, but then, no money to hire people to take care of the kid, both sets of parents working full time, so in the end she's taking care of the baby while the husband works. It's difficult to depend on others to take care of the baby, especially now that our parent's generation are all working full time. There's just nobody else. I also have some friends who gave birth before getting their degree...and in those cases, either the girl or the boy had to give up their studies to care for the baby. Sad, but so true. Heh. Damn long comment...but hey, I liked this post. It addressed a lot of thoughts I have on the same subject. <strong>jo: hm,hm...heard about how companies are always skeptical to hire mothers. discrimination!! haih.... hope they'll hold up find. But i'm sure your bf's parents are close to retirement age...so it's only a matter of time before she can go back into the work force:) trust me lor... usually it's the girl who gives up on her studies. I was at Lowyat forums the other day and some guy was telling us that he is only a second year uni student and his girlfriend, who is doing dentistry in UK (Rm1million plus plus there okay), is pregnant. Well done! I do hope she'll continue with her studies after that. </strong> - “Are parents equally heart broken when their working daughters fall pregnant before marriage as they do when their daughters get pregnant while pursuing their studies? Do all girls have to stay at home and be a mother once they deliver their child? Can’t anybody else help them with the baby while they go about completing their goals?”

All I can say about the above sentences is that, firstly, yep, mothers ARE equally heartbroken if their working daughters become pregnant before marriage. It’s not as bad as the stigma of having kids while still a teenager, but still, when you first start working, you won’t have the money to support your kids yet. The worst part is if you just started working and still in probation, the company MIGHT think that you’re not commited enough and fire you.

My bf’s bro went through that before, and now his wife is having problems getting a job. Got diploma, got kid, but then, no money to hire people to take care of the kid, both sets of parents working full time, so in the end she’s taking care of the baby while the husband works. It’s difficult to depend on others to take care of the baby, especially now that our parent’s generation are all working full time. There’s just nobody else.

I also have some friends who gave birth before getting their degree…and in those cases, either the girl or the boy had to give up their studies to care for the baby. Sad, but so true.

Heh. Damn long comment…but hey, I liked this post. It addressed a lot of thoughts I have on the same subject.

jo: hm,hm…heard about how companies are always skeptical to hire mothers. discrimination!!

haih…. hope they’ll hold up find. But i’m sure your bf’s parents are close to retirement age…so it’s only a matter of time before she can go back into the work force:)

trust me lor… usually it’s the girl who gives up on her studies. I was at Lowyat forums the other day and some guy was telling us that he is only a second year uni student and his girlfriend, who is doing dentistry in UK (Rm1million plus plus there okay), is pregnant. Well done! I do hope she’ll continue with her studies after that.

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]]> By: sweatlee http://jayelleenelial.com/becoming-a-mother-when-youre-still-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-18345 sweatlee Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:40:50 +0000 http://jayelleenelial.com/?p=605#comment-18345 that blog damn sad T____T summore the music T___T huuhuhuh <strong>jo: if i read anymore of these blogs, i'll die of dehydration. everyday cry like that not good leh!</strong> - that blog damn sad T____T summore the music T___T huuhuhuh

jo: if i read anymore of these blogs, i’ll die of dehydration. everyday cry like that not good leh!
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]]> By: tanya http://jayelleenelial.com/becoming-a-mother-when-youre-still-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-18336 tanya Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:19:04 +0000 http://jayelleenelial.com/?p=605#comment-18336 fantastic post. totally cried at the poem. :( i feel like you do. i get the feeling, as we grow older, our desire to be mothers does increase! <strong>jo: hahaha so true.. so it's only natural?:D</strong> - fantastic post. totally cried at the poem. :( i feel like you do. i get the feeling, as we grow older, our desire to be mothers does increase!

jo: hahaha so true.. so it’s only natural?:D
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]]> By: gmas http://jayelleenelial.com/becoming-a-mother-when-youre-still-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-18333 gmas Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:57:00 +0000 http://jayelleenelial.com/?p=605#comment-18333 I will never understand what motivates those insidious idiots to abuse these teenage mothers. *sigh* My heart goes out to them. <strong>jo: yeah man, a bunch of lameasses. damn wtf. =( eh, when i have kids, you're gonna be the god-father ok! remember ah! we said before one! pinkie promise;P </strong> - I will never understand what motivates those insidious idiots to abuse these teenage mothers. *sigh* My heart goes out to them.

jo: yeah man, a bunch of lameasses. damn wtf. =( eh, when i have kids, you’re gonna be the god-father ok! remember ah! we said before one! pinkie promise;P

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