I think I’ll call it Ayam The Meme.

I am that girl who pretended that a slipper in the middle of the road was very interesting because I was shy to hold your hand.

I am that girl who flashed her friends to make them laugh.

I am that girl who swore to her mother at the age of 8 in a raging fit saying, “If being a dentist is the last job on the face of the earth, I WON’T EVEN TAKE IT!!!” after getting one of her final milk teeth pulled out at a dental clinic in SS2.

I am that girl who nearly got kidnapped in Subang Parade at the age of 3 on the fateful day that she decided to ponteng kindergarten but nobody seems to take me seriously for it.

I am that girl who wrote a love letter to a boy in standard 2 but he rejected me by throwing my scissors on the floor. Don’t know why.

I am that girl who called her mother a Silly Pucker at age 8 for not playing monopoly and got whacked by her dad who mistook it for Silly Fucker.

I am that girl who did not want to tell her dad where she learnt that word from because she was afraid to be deprived of her Archie Comics so she quickly racked her 8 year old head to find a comic that she could do without – and so she put the blame on her Mickey Mouse & Donald Duck comics instead.

I am that girl who learnt where babies came from at the tender age of 5, courtesy of her Phillipina maid.

I am that girl who actually got sexually harassed at the age of 8 by a chindian guy who wanted to take piano lessons from her mother borrowed her home toilet and claimed that he wet himself and asked her to wipe his dick for him with a towel.

I am that girl who actually wiped his dick with a towel.

I am that same girl who used loads of handwash to scrub at her hands after he left.(symptoms of a sexually harassed victim)

I am that girl who is NOT emotionally scarred from it and found it very funny albeit dangerous 10 years later.

I am that girl who knows I can report him to the police.

I am also that girl who knows how the fuck can she remember that fucking fuckers face and hence it is impossible to lodge a report.

I am that girl who is now thinking, “my poor virginal 8 year old hands..”.

I am that girl who enjoys telling people that story, partly because it IS the truth and partly because other people’s reaction to it is very interesting.

I am that girl who felt like the ugliest thing in the world when a boy once told her that she was “Fucking ugly, want to vomit,” when she was a mere 12 year old.

I am that girl who has bad period pains and wriggles on the floor.

I am that girl whom you nearly kissed during prom.

I am that girl whose shoulder you cried on whenever he makes you feel emotionally wretched.

I am that girl who gave you a Purple Streetwear Nailpolish in exchange for that cute senior’s ICQ number.

I am that girl who frightened you when she said, “You know, nipple stickers are the bomb.”

I am that girl who is an incurable blog addict.

I am that girl who dies without the internet.

I am that girl who will endure 6 hours to and fro from Kedah to KL just to see you.

I am that girl who wonders if her family will still go to Vietnam for a holiday after paying a bomb for her education.

I am that girl who doesn’t want her friends to go away to study.

I am that girl who will never stand in the way of anyone’s education.

I am that girl who cannot speak mandarin.

I am that girl who believes that she can be more of a hopeless romantic if only she was of a different sex.

I am that girl who loves glitter too much.

I am the same girl whose father told her that if her lungs were to be dissected, they’d find glittery residue in her lungs.

I am that girl who knew you were looking at me so closely when you thought I was asleep; 3 years ago.

I am that girl who once thought it was the end of the world when she had dandruff.

I am that girl who obsesses easily.

I am that girl who is secretly proud to be a year younger than her peers because she will graduate younger.

I am that girl who feels most guilty for the things she has done when she’s shitting in the toilet.

I am that girl who has stopped liking Douglas Lim because of his long hair.

I am that girl who folded you origami hearts with a special note in each and everyone of them and stuffed them all into a cookie jar and sent it to you for this year’s Valentine’s Day.

I am that girl who was overwhelmed when you showed how happy you were to receive the hearts and the cookie jar by saying, ‘I love you!!’.

I am that girl who’s just a wee bit disappointed that you forgot to open this month’s origami heart.

I am that girl who wants to spend new year’s eve watching fireworks with you.

I am that girl who hates her hair.

I am that girl who is out of touch with the Klang Valley for nearly three months.

I am that girl who hasn’t been to the cinema in nearly three months.

I am that girl who actually misses national service.

I am that girl who is such a hypocrite.

I am that girl who made you her diary since the raw beginnings back in 1999.

I am that same girl who can never thank you enough for being the big brother that she has never had.

I am that girl who played rollercoaster with a mattress down the staircase with you as a child.

I am that girl who was your 30th birthday present.

I am that girl who put bubble gum in your hair because you pissed me off.

I am that girl who farted in your face when you were climbing the stairs behind me because I hated the fact that you had a crush on the same guy as me.

I am that girl who hates changes.

I am that girl who is lying down now wondering if the ache in her tummy is a period pain, the impending signs of a good shit or a raging fart.

Damn! This is so friggin’ therapeutic!! This is a voluntary meme, no obligations to listing down a few selected names. It’s good for the brain.

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It’s no fun queuing up during the eleventh hour trying to catch the last train back. Or to be stuck in Subang an hour before the bus leaves.

You know, I thought I was all high and mighty, equipped with the knowledge that I, Jolene Lai, know how to commute back and forth without needing much help from my parents or my darling bf.

Sitting in the ktm and pretending to flip through my anatomy notes like the so called diligent student that I am, I began to freak out that the ride to KL Sentral was taking up the better part of an hour.

Upon reaching KL Sentral, I ran to the toilet because I only had half an hour to switch TWO lrts and hop on to the bus that would bring me back to this shit hole I live in in the name of education and a good career.

I was in a long queue for my ticket to Masjid Jamek. Upon reaching Masjid Jamek, I stopped by the streets for a moment and felt like a true KLite. With the city wind blowing in my hair, drying my sweat and looking up at the sky scrapers……….oh fuck, 15 more minutes to 4pm!!

I immediately bought a ticket to Plaza Rakyat and climbed the stairs. To my dismay, I saw a horde of people descending the stairs. “Oh no,” I thought. “I’m definitely going to miss this train………”. So I ran up the stairs and the bell on the LRT went off, indicating that the doors were about to close.

NooOOooOooOOoo….

I ran towards the closing doors….I was doubtful if I could make it.

BUT, with a mighty parabola leap I managed to jump onto the LRT and the doors closed shut behind me. All the passengers inside the LRT were looking at me. I wondered if they would start clapping their hands. Seriously, I felt like I was doing some action movie stunt. Hahahahha.

Die die die.. 10 more minutes left.

When I reached Plaza Rakyat, there was a still a long way more to walk. I ran all the way to the metal walk way that leads to the bus station. My legs were like clockwork!

Along the way I saw a lot of beggars and I thought, “I should be nice.”

So as I ran along, I was putting RM1 notes into their mugs without even stopping. Can you imagine the scene? Like I was on some freaking game show.

But anyway, I managed to board the bus.

See, if I had a touch n go card, I would not have to queue up and then I would not have to be so drama-rama about my trips.

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I finally stepped out of Malaysia for the first time in nearly three years. Dad’s company has a factory in Vietnam and he thought it was a nice place to bring his family for a well deserved holiday.

My brother asked my dad on the plane, “Dad, does it snow in Vietnam?”

Dad was too embarrassed to admit that Mervyn was his son.

Hehe, actually cannot blame him also. I packed two jackets.

My brother and I don’t suck at geography for nothing.

So anyway, Vietnam’s freaking warm. But it rains alot! Which is quite nice. I have like 500 photos from the trip(entire memory card full liao )…so I’ll be breaking it up into multiple entries.

An Introduction To Vietnam

The first Vietnamese faces to greet me.

The Airport at Saigon, Ho Chi Minh City.

The Australian man sitting next to me on the plane explained to me that the buildings here are very narrow because the tax they pay is according to the width of their doorway. Kesian…

The hotel we stayed in was not extremely grand a hotel, but very well equipped and satisfying. As long as it has a long bath, a pretty bathroom, freezing airconditioning and a big nice window, I’m happy.
Here’s one of my grandmother with the christmas tree and the interior.

I can’t tell you the name of this hotel because I’m about to tell you about the massage parlour in the hotel. We thought it’d be cool to try out “authentic Vietnamese massage”. But apparently they touch all the wrong places, and they ask the men, “Sir, you want extra services?” and they will elaborate further with a very rude hand sign.

I found a display case in the lobby and got my brother to take this shot. Beautiful lighting?:D

Must camwhore, anywhere, anytme.

After resting at the hotel for awhile, we decided to check out the shops around the place. Since dad comes here so often, he knew where to bring us.

There was this shop called Saigon Impression and it sells formal wear. I thought this outfit was quite special but the top cost about RM150. The pants was of a similiar value..so I only got the top. I mean, I know it’s costly, but it’s so special and unique!! You know the “got feel” attitude when it comes to shopping? It applies.

Problem is, I don’t know where to wear it too. Someone get married and invite me please.

I thought this photo of the Clarins’ building looked pretty nice.

It rained alot in Vietnam. So it was very nice and cooling all the time.

We went to this Ice-cream parlour and they served candies in the shape of spastic looking animals(think Happy Tree Friends) in a glass bowl. Quite cute lah.

Mum and I

I motioned to this vendor with my camera that I would like to snap a photo of her with her wares.. but she put her straw hat on my head and made me pose with her wares instead. LOL. Then my father had to buy some bananas from her as a payment. Smart cookie, this one.

More photos coming up… but we all like photos, no?:) I know I do.

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This entry would be my 623th and I’m leaving blogdrive. I thank you for all the fun and convenience(and the occasional server down times) that blogdrive has given me.

An avenue to be myself and maybe even become that someone I never really thought I could be before opening this blog.

A reason to keep in touch with friends.

A reason to make so many more friends.

A photoalbum filled with almost every waking moment of mine.

A journal that chronicled my thoughts, ideas, weirdness and experiences of sorts.

… I’ve enjoyed every single bit of blogging.

I guess it’s time.

TO MOVE TO MY OWN DOMAIN!! WHOO HOOO!!!

WWW.JAYELLEENELIAL.COM HAS ARRIVED!!

fooled ya, didn’t I?

To commemorate this (grand) occasion, i’d like to hear a word or two from friends and silent readers alike in the comments about your earliest memory of me and my blog and REMEMBER TO CHRISTIAN THE COMMENT BOX OVER AT MY NEW BLOG TOO YEAH?

Do remember to change your links, but I’ll be going around and bugging you lot too.

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On wednesday, Brenda and I went to Tesco to have some good ol’ KFC. Lovely chicken, they have always been.

We then went into Tesco because she wanted to get some stationary for the new academic year. I went off on my own to buy a new tv ariel, a couple of mathematical box sets(we need it for tooth carving next week!) and an adapter.

While browsing through the tv ariels, I felt this intense pain in my stomach.

I HATE it when this happens. It just comes suddenly and totally knots my tummy up. I had to go the bathroom immediately.

I found Brenda at the tissue department, dumped my things in her trolley and told her, “Wei, stomach ache. Cannot tahan..You wait for me here ok? Very fast one!”

Then she said, “Harh!? Why suddenly one???”

I told her, “Happens lah.” and grabbed a 12-pack toilet roll (tesco value!) and ran off to the counter, leaving a laughing Brenda behind.

The tissue paper was RM2.99. The guy took his time to work his cash register. He punched a few buttons on the cash register, waited for the cash register to er..register, rang the cash register and picked out ONE CENT from the cash box and tore the receipt and handed it to me. I was in absolute pain.

So I walked briskly to the toilet which was like, 50metres away.

I felt a gurgle in my tummy and then a dull intensified pain.

Perhaps a fart would do me good. It always makes me feel better. Lessen the tension in the tummy.

Alright. So i farted.

…. somehow, the fart wouldn’t stop.

Imagine my horror ok?

It was no longer a fart. It just went on and on and I had to stop myself!

I grabbed on to my ass, just in case anything falls out and covered my ass with the huge pack of toilet roll just so that the public can be saved from the gruesome sight that was my …er colourised pants.

Somemore I was wearing that damn short stripey shorts that I wore in the pic in the post below. DAmnit!

So I continued walking LIKE THAT all the way to the toilet, not giving a shit(haha!) to how I must’ve looked – hands cupping the ass, toilet roll held behind.

I burst into the cubicles(and that was not the only thing that burst). Luckily for me I’ve got a plastic bag after buying that large packet of toilet roll.

Thank god it wasn’t much as it was mostly water. And water gets absorbed.

Yes, thank you for being my friend. Have a good life.

I had to sms Brenda.

first message

second message

third message

Brenda’s reply.

My next message.

her next reply. My savior!!

Hehehe.

I HAD to tell Lie Yuen what happened. It was too funny not to. This was meant to be read in the most monotonous tone one can ever muster. You know? Like deadpanning.

Hahahaha. How we laughed when we came home.

“So you throwed away your old panties and your shorts?” Brenda asked as we were leaving tesco.

“Er… it’s too pretty to throw away. I can’t possibly find another pair of stripey shorts. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve put it in a plastic bag and hung it on the side of your car door..” I said sheepishly.

“O_o!! Cha tou!” was Brenda’s reply.

And it didn’t fly off as we were driving. I went home and washed it straight away and it’s damn clean okay.

Now, do I still have friends left?! You know Jolene, always telling her stupid stories to make people happy, right right right?

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Can you believe I haven’t even been to One Utama, Midvalley AND Sg. Wang?! In all the 6 weeks I’ve spent here back home? ; Bummer.

I DID go to Ikano yesterday to visit my Aunty’s stall (Just Labels! – they make labels with your name on it and it’s all so colourful!) and ended up spending hours(and cash too. haha).

Firstly, I got sucked into this slightly Ah Lianish shop called Treats.

We all know treasures can be found at Ah Lianish type of shops, so I browsed around. But the sales girls’ enthusiasm overwhelmed me terlebih.

She just shoved clothes onto my hands and literally kicked me into the changing room and kept throwing more clothes at me, all the time chattering away in Cantonese.

I cannot converse properly in Cantonese when I am nervous. I will stutter and end up a complete fool.

A complete fool who bought Rm200 worth of clothes from that sweet mouthed Ah Lian sales girl. She forced this damn ugly belt onto my pile of clothes and I had to say, “NO!” firmly. *shakes head*

TWO PANTS + FOUR SHORTS + THREE SKIRTS = I ROCK!!
1. Black shorts for RM30 from Treats
2. Torn denim shorts for Rm23 from FOS, didn’t buy that though.
3. Light denim shorts for Rm23 from FOS
4. Flowery denim shorts for Rm23 from FOS
5. The back of no.4
6. Brown corduroy mini(short-until-chau-kong mini ok?!) skirt RM23 FOS

…*sweat* -_- I just realised I labelled two images  as number 6, hence screwing up everything else.
Oh well,

Second no.6: Pale flower embroidery on mini skirt for RM23.
7. Back of it.
8. Dark denim jeans for RM70, Treats.
9. White pin striped pants, which doubles as a three quarter pants for RM80, Treats.
10. Flare and pleated skirt, RM40, Treats.

The FOS stuff are like RM40 for TWO of the RM23 items.

The damage.

This post was meant to be about the Port Dickson trip I took with Daryl, Jon, Justin, Gaya, Her boyfriend Parvant, Nadine and her boyfriend Saif.

We started the trip with a dimsum breakfast at USJ21 Hong Foong(Fong Hoong?).

I love good porridge.

In Justin’s car.
L-r: Justin, Jon, Me.
HI JON’S MUM, AUNTY OOI!!! Jon says you read my blog!! Haha! Hello!!! …Omg, Jon just came online. What freaky coincidence…..*goes say hello to Jon on msn*

Daryl and Justin say that whenever they come to this apartment in PD, they have to set the furnitures properly at the balcony… and then light up the ciggies, before relaxing properly. Hahahaha.

It is his aunty’s apartment by the way. All of us only had to pay him RM12.50! What an affordable trip!

We went grocery shopping for some BBQ stuff. But since this was the day AFTER that Merdeka booze-overdose..I forgot to pack pad, facial cleanser, towel, pyjamas etc…. basically forgot to bring almost everything. Hahaha.

This is Daryl going “Wtf, who buys a beer, a facial cleanser and a packet of pads?”

HE posed the beer there. It’s his warped idea, not mine.

Now he pulak take out his cigarrettes and pose with my …necessities. -_- Bo Liao Betul.

Oooo! On the way out from the shops, I saw these on the floor. So pretty!

Someone’s camouflaging with Justin’s proton.

Last stop: Get mesh wire for the BBQ pit.

Mesh wire bras..?

Justin looked so peaceful fast asleep…..

But Noooo…Jon and Daryl had to kacau.

Taking Gaya’s bra…

..and putting it on Justin.

…then came my bikini bottom. teehee. And my scrunchy…which doesn’t really show.

And tampons to finish it all!

Look at this poser pic of Jon. Quite nice lah actually.

Daryl saw someone topless.

And started enjoying the view.

And the girl he saw ….was not a girl.

Me chilling.

Me chilling in Sepia mode.

Jon giving Daryl some love in sepia.

I quite like this photo of the both of us.

This is a very nice photo. I think the glass door acted like a polarizer of sorts. Betul or not photography pros?

Presenting Daryl’s leg hair.

Presenting mine.

We saw the sun set..!

According to Daryl, the way I yawn very fugly. Hahahhaa. And whenever I opened my mouth to yawn, this was his reaction. ??~

Justin found it funny too. I just don’t get it. o_O

Daryl had a few shots of himself in my camera that I didn’t know off. I nearly died laughing when I came across this photo. MY FRIEND IS A FREAK SHOW!!!!!!!!!!! Who exactly roll their tongues like that? Nobody!

Secret’s out.

NICE!

Change to “cool mode”. (my camera has that effect)

Or is this the “cool mode”?

Some photos against the sunlight. Makes nice photos as well.

Look at Daryl’s hand okay…..

Bwahahahaha. Silouhetted(sp?) third finger.

The lights outside the hotel/apartment.

We walked along the beach for awhile before it got dark.

Me acting …cute.er.. yeah. aiyah. i like lah.

That’s Daryl. Who else can it be lah?

Justin and I were collecting seashells along the beach. He’s got a little surprise for someone. Awwwwww..

Where we stayed.

Water rushing between my toes..

Passing love and passing seashells.

Daryl’s nipple needs a haircut.

Justin inspecting the stones he picked.

Gaya and I

Another view of the sunset.

Gaya and Parvant

Daryl having a shower…

The lights at night.

Saif and Nadine.. Aww..:( Make me jelez only. Chee Kiang was supposed to come..but he had classes which he couldn’t skip. ;( He made it up by visiting me during the weekend though. ^_^

Cock(erel) eye.

Looks damn scary..

Daryl looks scarier. Hahaha.

Awww..what a cutie!

Gasoline is the way to go. Fire starters are for pussies.

Gaya and her Parvant.

Nadine and her darling Saif! We learnt alot from you, dude!

Me and mah chickens! (sounds close to Chee Kiang’s name anyway! ;P Don’t marah ya dear hahaha. He used to hate it when some boys in class called him Chicken.) A few friends have found out how to shut me up. I just eat my chicken quietly..

Daryl the chef.

The mess we made..

Cool leh! Slow shutter speed..

Me trying to fan the fire. So pathetic dei.

Jon and I.

A nice shot of the rest of the barbecue area.

Ooooooo..we had a peep show!

Malu already.

And stoned. hahahhaha.

The sleeping beauties.

Good morning kiss for Jon!

After playing in the sea, we came back to have brunch.

See, boys who KNOW how to cook.

I clawed my nails into his breasts. Hohohohohoh.

Playing around with what’s on the table..

Nice?

Oooooo!

A glass of sprite. Nobody gets any prize for guessing whose eyes are those. ;(

Justin’s elongated eye.

Kissy kissy.

Daryl!

Daryl!! I helped you remove your eyebags. I’m good yea???

OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Daryl’s legs damn hairy right. I started plucking leg hair out. Then I blew it off my fingers and he was like, “You think can make wish meh????”

Memang can make wish. So I wished to pass my biochemistry paper.

Please let me pass my biochemitry paper!

Jon also wanted to try the genie.

This is Jon.

This is Daryl’s ears. Eeeee..got pimple.

Hey, hey!

Gaya and I

Gaya cooking for Parvant

Don’t know what they were doing lah.

..don’t even wanna know.

Group shot!
top l-r: Gaya, Parvant, Jon Nadine, Saif
bottom l-r: Me, Daryl, Justin

Gaya and Parvant

The guys.
L-r: Justin, Jon, Daryl, Parvant and Saif

An angled pic

A reflection of me.

daryl’s doing it again..

I was trying to roll my tongue like him.

Cannot..

Jon tried keeping a goatee. Heeehee.

Our tripod.

Look at me!! I’m GLOWING!!! I also don’t know how I achieved that effect.

I caught Gaya posing in this position.

Looks like something out of a movie right?

One of the two of us.

A closer one.

One alone.

Oooh! I went for Actorlympics today! The show was really really really funny. And yes, the reason I went was because Douglas Lim was there. Hahaha.

HE HUGGED ME WHEN HE SAW ME. YAY!!! Next level! De De Deng! (you know those music when you level up in some Sega video game)

Smashpop looks ALOT like Douglas in Douglas’ younger days.

Another with Asyraf inside.
Seems that they booked an extra ticket and so happened I saw Smashpop online and I was like, “I WANTttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt”… and yeah, rushed to Bangsar, paid a cabbie RM7 from Jalan Telawi to BSC….(long story).

One with Asyraf inside.

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Since Justin and Daryl will be coming to pick me up to go to PD in like, 5 minutes, I’ll just give you the brief details:

- Went Kedah for 5 days, sat for exam, scared like shit, got lost on the way home to KL(mum and I drove)

-Went for broken bridges with munteng and v-ng yan.

-Very happy Douglas Lim remembers me.

-Because I interviewed him for my school magazine back in 2003.

-Going crazy about Douglas Lim. Stalker back in full mode. Damn broken bridges started it.

-Missed the last train home from Sentul.

-Went yamcha with Dennis, Mun Teng and a new friend, David. Don’t understand Dennis’ line of work.

-wtf did i do on wednesday? *pounds head*

-Oh yeah, miscommunication in Subang on the way to SS2 for Bryanchin’s mini merdeka gathering with some of the other bloggers.

-Sat in Jasiminne’s car and had a good time hearing all her stories while getting lost in the merdeka jam.

-No pizza left for us at Bryan’s.

-Was offered drinks.

-Want to lanci and down everything. On an empty stomach

-Sat on neighbours’ wall and….*pictures later*

-Was …. way off tangent. Good blogpost shall follow my one and only time drunk.

-Saw Mikel(louyau!!) and waved like mad though I didn’t know it was him until I went up to him for a closer look. Went up to him and shouted, “I’VE NEVER SEEN YOU IN LIKE……NEVER!!!!!!” *hug!!*
That was so not me. Seriously. SO NOT ME. 0_0.

-Jasiminne drove me back to Subang and I met up with munteng, benshyen, kelvin lim, sze hsiung, his sis(sorry I can’t quite remember your name) and another guy whose name i forgot too at SS14. Arghh so sorry. I was not myself.

-Went to bridge near Taylor’s College to see fireworks from Sunway.

-So surprised that i was still able to set timer for my camera.

-Had to be held by Mun Teng and Ben SHyen as I walked down the bridge.

-Went home and told my brother my deepest darkest secrets. WTF..

-Caused Esther and Chee Kiang to call me from Australia and Singapore respectively after seeing one too many typos on my msn whining unnecessarily.

-Cried to Chee Kiang about how nobody cooked anything for me to eat. *puts hands up* Me cry when me have too much of alcohol in the body. Hohoho.

-Brother dug my ears for me and i fell asleep on his bed.

-Woke up at 3am and puked into the toilet bowl. Consistency of vomit was the exact same one as faeces. Officially broke record of not vomitting for the past 10 years. Last time was because I was nervous about my PTS exams.(the exam that enabled me to be a year younger than my peers)

-Woke up at 6am and puked into the toilet bowl. Consistency of vomit still brown and sloshy.

-Penny, me thinks it is your cupcakes, decolourised. Your cupcakes were white if I was not mistaken? It was the only thing I had in my tummy.
Sigh. Shall elaborate these points when I get back tomorrow afternoon.

Happy Merdeka, you all.

Just wanna say sorry to everybody whom I was tactless to last night. I didn’t say my thank yous and my byebyes.

Thanks Bryan for the party. Didn’t say thank you to your parents.

Sorry Asyraf for being weird. We’ll have to meet again.

Sorry everybody else who felt I was strange lah, basically.

I will never ever ever touch alcohol ever again. I hate vomitting. Oh god.

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In all my life, I realise that I’ve been sheltered far too much. There were people here who don’t even own handphones and to me, that’s incredulous. But I soon learnt that these people who hail from the village have their own way of slow paced life.

Only in national service would I ever have the chance to play and learn together with these kids who come from all walks of life.

Despite the language barrier with the other chinese speaking chinese at camp, I tried to keep an open mind and communicated with everybody. I was desperate to find somebody who could converse with me in english.

As the weeks go by, I soon got by with my limited cantonese and broken Malay.

Everybody at camp noticed that I scribbled furiously in a notepad whenever there was time. They’d peek over and la

ugh and smile because what I was writing was about my experiences together with them.

After form5, most people would end up sticking with their own race. It is inevitable. But in National Service, it was arranged in such a way that nobody of the same race should sleep next to each other. My neighbours were both Malay girls.

My favourite of the two girls was named Farah. Farah is very down to earth and she remained impartial despite the politics going on in the dorm. Politics happened everywhere and you guessed it, it happened between the malays and the chinese. Farah and I were very close. So close that we’d join our beds at night and she would help me hold my torch light while I religiously wrote about my experiences in national service.

Farah comes from Putrajaya but it must be the environment that she grew up in because she can hardly speak a word of English. She recognises a few word every now and then from my journals and would chuckle.

“Oh!! Marriage!! Cakap tentang hukuman seks tu ya?” she said. I mentioned in my NS diaries something about the trainer threatening a marriage ceremony should anyone be caught doing naughty things around the camp.

She told me, “Bagus Jolene tulis diari tiap tiap malam! Cam nih Farah dapat belajar bahasa inggeris! Tulis lebih ya!” I was overwhelmed with a sense of encouragement.

Once of the cutest scenes I saw in camp was during my character building classes.
There’s this tall, lanky and hairy indian boy who would act like a total monkey making everybody laugh. He can only speak very little Malay. When you disturb him, he’ll get slightly pissed off and scolds you in Tamil. It was very funny so my friend Yee Ling, a hair dresser who works in Klang, found him very endearing.

Now she was the epitome of your typical ah lian hairdresser together with the hokkien accented Malay. Very very amusing.

“Oi Raju!! Lu jangan nakal ar!!” she’d shout at Raju, the aforementioned Indian boy and break into a giggle. Raju likes to disturb her as well because she had blonde hair, blue eyes and was as fair as snow. They’d squabble.. one teasing the other in broken malay and the other one scolding back in Tamil.

One of the things I miss about national service are the songs and the cheers. Every night, all of us would gather in our oversized t-shirts and trackpants and sing the songs thought to us by our trainers.

….

I would love to continue this post. But I just puked my guts out a while ago and am in no position to blog. Hope you all understand. Happy merdeka. The gist of it is that I had a great time in National Service. Will edit this when i get back.

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The genius behind this is none other than the one and only Vincent of http://vbglau.blogspot.com. He was the one who came up with last year’s Kempen Belog BM.

Click!

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to participate in the project. You see, I was part of the Merdeka procession last year as part of the national service contingent, carrying the Kedah flag(see, I was all psyche about coming to start my dentistry course 5 days after Merdeka).

I left my national service camp on merdeka’s day last year rather adruptly and rushed off to Kedah, totally detached from the likes of the blogosphere for about nearly 4 months. I came back to see a whole new generation of bloggers. Like some sort of alien evolution. You leave them for one night as a tiny colony of cultured bacteria and they become an entire civilisation in a few days. 0_0

This year, Vincent’s aim is to compile a list of heart warming stories written by Malaysians about being Malaysians. He has had enough of depressing stories and I’m sure most of us are sick of hearing malaysians complain about the price increase of essential necessities, racial biasness, feuds between the big guys etc etc.

So do all of us a favour by contributing to this project this Merdeka Day.

Marilah Sertai Projek Malaysia Gembira!

Tak aci aku tidak dapat menyertai Kempen Belog BM yang diadakan pada tahun lepas. Oleh itu, aku mati-mati pun nak belog damn BM juga. Tunggulah beberapa hari dulu sebelum aku mengarang sebuah belog enteri yang akan menonjol bahasa melayu yang berbunga-bunga aku dan mempersonakan anda semua. Habis peperiksaan biokimia aku yang menyusahkan itu dulu.

Aku tidak tahu kenapa aku boleh dapat B3 dalam SPM Bahasa Melayu. Sedih aku tau! Merosakkan keputusan SPM aku saje. Ish. Jahanam ‘tul!

Oh! Mari aku berbelog sedikit dalam bahasa melayu loghat Kedah.

Adik semo mesti layon projek ini yo? Baro la rio!

Ako tak taho ako cakop tahi apo.< --- only this one correct. cis! Mancis!

Ok sekian, terima kasih.

Yang Benar,                                                                                       24 Ogos 2006

…………………….
(Lai Pei Shan)
Pengarang Belog

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