RIP: I Never Knew Her But I Can Just Imagine

Update at 12pm: read that the bus driver of the DOUBLE DECKER KONSORTIUM BUS was speeding during the downpour AND smsing at the same time. WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Updated at 5.30pm: Okay, I got the greenlight from Chung Lern. Nian Ning, you were popular, loved and admired by all. I tried to make up for the times that I will never get to ever know you by reading all those blogs with messages to you. You must’ve been one amazing girl for all the love that you’re getting from everywhere. Rest in peace.

I saw Esther’s nickname on MSN today with a message to someone to rest in peace. The name could only belong to one person and it’s mean of me to wish it wasn’t her. But it was.

Most of you would probably know by now, especially if you read the papers, but to ever hear about someone so close to someone you’re so close to passing away is absolutely devastating.

We’ve actually only ever said Hi once, and that was at Sunway Pyramid’s car park. So we were only mere acquaintances. This girl is the girlfriend of one of my closer friends from school. He absolutely adores the girl and most of our conversations in recent years usually involved her and how he was very happy with her.

I hope you don’t mind me blogging this and I will remove it if you want me to, but I’m deeply affected by it and I want you to know that I will be here for you.

I couldn’t stop falling apart with tears just thinking about how he’s probably feeling now. If I’m not mistaken, she was making a trip down to KL from her hometown in Penang via a bus.

Yes, it’s another bus crash. This part shook me up a whole lot more.

The accident happened at about 5.55pm at Slim River, the North-South Highway. The very same highway that I was driving on, at the same time, from Sungai Petani. In the papers it was mentioned that the bus driver had like multiple outstanding summonses against him and yet he was allowed to continue driving the bus up and down the highway.

But I was shaking more realizing that it could’ve been any of us who rely solely on the bus to come back. There will be some weekends where I would need to come home and would be too lazy to drive. I mean I took the bus like every other weekend for two and a half years now. Till it actually happens, I cannot for the life of me imagine how a fucking bus can actually crash. It’s so huge! Cars are widely spaced on the highway, the roads are wide enough… what idiot can’t drive decently with such conditions?!

To be able to sit here, sobbing for her, typing this, realizing that it could’ve easily been me, could’ve been me who would have to be cried for by loved ones…it’s one thing to be in shock and be upset about a friend losing a loved one, but it’s another thing to know what lies in store for you just for the sake of having to come home. It’s also seriously freaking me out that we were on the same highway at the same time. The news report mentioned a heavy downpour. It was bad, I couldn’t see the cars in front of me. It was rather unfortunate for the bus though as a little further ahead would be clear skies. That’s how it is with the stupid North South Highway, clear skies alternating with torrential downpours.

Personally, I stopped taking buses from this particular bus company and avoid it like a plaque because it takes 8 hours to get me home. 8 freaking hours. Stops at Ipoh for an hour every now and then to refuel/fix the bus.

Is the government going to do ANYTHING at all? If plane tickers were cheaper, more people would be able to utilize it. We don’t need the millions of ringgit for stupid sculptures. USE IT TO PAY YOUR FUCKING AIRPORT TAXES AND LET THE POOR PEOPLE AND STUDENTS GET ON PLANES TOO! RM30 for a plane ticket isn’t too much to ask!!

If that doesn’t work, then WHAT can there be done to stop this murderers who fetch your loved ones up and down the whole of Malaysia? IT COULD’VE BEEN ME, MALAYSIAN GOVERNMENT, IT COULD’VE BEEN ME. Can YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?!! A girl my age had to die BECAUSE YOU WERE LOUSY. You were lousy in maintaining the standard of your transportations. DO SOMETHING. DO SOMETHING WE CAN FREAKING SEE!!!

SHUT DOWN THIS BUS COMPANY!! Scare the other bus companies!!

SHUT DOWN THE FUCKING BUS COMPANY FOR THEIR FAILURE IN HIRING INCOMPETENT DRIVERS!! Or does the government want to wait until one of their loved ones die from a bus crash? Try it, it hits home harder when it happens to someone around you.

I cry for my friend too who is probably in a state that I dare not even imagine him to be. I wouldn’t know what to do if I were him. I really want him to promise us that he will take care of himself.

Three deaths in a week. Heath Ledger, my classmate’s childhood friend who died from Leukemia and now her.

Though I don’t know her very well but I’ve heard so many nice things about her. I know it’s what people usually say in such circumstances but almost all my friends who have met her have given her the thumbs-up. My friend is such a nice, sweet and decent boy and to have something like that happening to him, it makes you wonder why. It makes you really wonder why. Why him? Why her? Why so early? Why so sudden?

Sudden. That’s the word. Cancers, I’ve had my fair share. But car accidents? This is a first and hopefully the last.

Suicide cases would be as shocking but you would not feel that it’s such a waste because it was ultimately the person’s choice. However, to be involved in a car accident is probably the worst way to go because you didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye. The people around you will probably never quite recover from losing you.

Deaths are always so painful to digest.

In a long stretch of time, someone you know will pass away.

There are still so many people around you today.

One by one they will go.

Seems like such a long life ahead.

p/s: rest in peace, friend-in-law. Please do not mention her name if you know who she is as I’m not sure if my friend would be happy about me blogging this. But I’m just too saddened.