Not So Little Girl In A Reverie

I realised I was caught up in the world of blogging for the past half a year and forgot to take the time out to really read the blogs of my really close friends. Now I read every single one of them because I want to know how they are; whichever part of the world they are in. I didn’t realise it would be so therapeutic to catch up on their lives, pretending I’m sharing those experiences with them like how I used to not very long ago.

But it’s all so different now. Doesn’t it hurt to read names you’ve never heard of in your best friends’ blogs? Even though that should not be the right frame of mind.

This post are for my best friends in the whole wide world and I’m not even going to post it on Petaling Street. That shows you guys how much you mean to me. I’m not doing this post for the sake of blogging; but more of a semi-personal letter to each and everyone of you. Thank you for keeping a blog and letting me know that you’re well and happy/sad/whatever.

Do you people know how I laugh to the computer screen in the computer lab, my laughter blending with the beeps of the printers and the click-clacking of the other keyboars? And the desperation that follows to be able to communicate 24/7 however, whenever, and most importantly, economically just like how it used to be?

Fucking lot of long distance relationships I have now.

Since I’m in the right state of emo-mood and have half an hour before my compulsory Psychology class(yes, i know, why do i have psychology? I don’t know.), I will finally do Esther’s meme

1986: 19 Years ago

Right on. I was floating happily in my mum's amniotic cavity, drinking my own pee from the yummy amnionic fluid as all fetuses do. Yum yum. Was counting the days to my Birth Day on the calendar I drew on my mum's uterus. (maybe it's still there, I don't know, ask Mervyn, he was the last to come out.). The rest of my bestest friends were probably learning their first words then and taking their first steps and getting their first teeth. Nothing's changed in 19 years. They were the first to drive, they were the first to get in to 18sx movies without being reprimanded, first to change their ICs etc.

1995: 10 Years Ago

I came into an era where I fell "in love" with practically any boy who was taller than me because I was a tall girl. Any boy who was taller than me was deemed rare. I had a million crushes.

If you know the following boys, do send my regards to them:
a)Chong Jin-Yang
b)Alain lau
c)Wayne Adams
d)That cute standard 3 prefect whom I got to know three years later as Kenneth Lim(my standard 6 classmate)
e)Chew Weng Gam (we used to exchange Ultraman tapes and laugh at each other's flatulence problems)
f)Meng Kim Fai(the magic ended when he deprived me of his Power Rangers Action Figure)

I used to cry when I forgot to bring my glasses to school. These days, when I forget to wear my bra, I just slap my forehead and tell the rest of the world hoping that all would have a good laugh about it.

Became a probational prefect and enjoyed instilling fear in the standard one kids by flipping out my notepad and telling them I'd write down their names if they don't listen to me. "Saya tulis nama kamu ah!" Rude Standard One Boy: "TULIS LAH BODOH!!" Me: *cries uncontrollably*.

Once a doormat, always a doormat.

2000: 5 years ago.(Form 2)

The year the Dahlings came together as one. With the solid foundation built by Chien, Hsien, Mun Teng and Li Peng in standard six.. they each brought in like minded young women with a common interest=berbodoh. From Chien's side(2 Cekap rules!!) there
was me, Liss, Mun Teng and Li Peng. Hsien(2 Budi sarks!) had Mel, Esther, Amanda, V-ng Yan. It was all a circle really as most of us were already good friends but never really hung out together as a whole.

Became an Interact maniac and was obsessed about getting a post. Would you believe that I would lie in bed and wonder about fate as an Interactor in the Interact Club of SMK Subang Utama? Very lame lah I know. *points and laughs at other ex-Interactors* Don't pretend you guys never did the same..ehehehe.

Enjoyed sliding around in the newspaper store with Mel on Fridays. Cycling to Chien's house(which is like just across the main road from mine) and got lost then crying as I cycled up and down the hills in her residential area feeling very very tired,

I had the humongous crush on Chan Jin-Tian. I got pursued by Victor Chin. It was all very nice. I don't care; I want to talk about it. You blow ah? (translate to Cantonese please).

Had the craziest time walking home with V-ng Yan laughing our asses off; probably one of the best times of my childhood. It had a good backdrop too: A setting sun enveloping my housing area in an orange hue.

Had Amanda to teach me how to make up, Met Esther's mother for the first time(that time she still not very 'sok' with me yet).

I thought I'd be damn bored and guy friends-less when Dennis, Josh, Ben Shyen, Jiun Jeh, Vern Yang etc go to form5 and finally leave SMK Subang Utama. Apparently one is able to make as many friends as possible! Wow! The revelation!

Volleyball became a strong factor, determining what would become of us in the following three years to come. I don't remember who coined this ideology but it seemed that Volleyball consisted of the popular people. Not that I'm complaining but it's not great telling people "Yeah, volleyball. But reserve player only, eheh." Made alot of friends there as well. Whom I'm no longer in touch with but would love to be. Sigh, but people grow apart don't they?

If you know the following people, do send my regards to them:
a)Irene and Ivine Gan
b)Kit Yan
c)Wong Choon Wae
d)Yen Kok Yuen
e)Shaun Lim
f)Seet Chean Yang
g)I can't remember his name but he borrowed my American Pie cd and misplaced it. I'm still waiting for that replacement cd he promised me.
h)Yoke Mei
i)Kar Yenn? Kar Yan? She was really nice. Damn, I can't remember her name!!! SHe was one of the nicest seniors who didn't snub juniors.
j)Loo Min Chuan

Volleyball even threatened to break our friendships. The better players would unintentionally shout at the lousier players (read: me) for missing the ball etc. Felt pretty worthless during those times.

Sometimes it's good that volleyball did come to an end.

2002: 3 Years Ago(Form 4)

Admittedly, I spent the eve of my form4 year somewhat praying to be in the same class with Chee Kiang in hopes that "Something Great" would happen. We became better friends and had our chance to know each other better throughout that year. It became a good foundation to what we have now. It's good to let him know that his future gf would be this super duper hamsap por that all other men are scared off. So he has nothing to worry, no one will want to take me away. Hahaha.

The end of the Interact Club's Great Mystery came to an end: I became the Club Secretary. I remember clearly how the three Interact Clubs(SMK SUbang Utama, SMK SS17, SMK Seafield) became really really close. It was through a game(a really really lame game) that I had my first peck on the lips from none other then Ken Chua, vice president 2002/2003 Int. Club of SMK SS17, who is now living happily ever after in Australia. I also wonder how he is; we seem to have lost touch. During the first week that he was there, he was complaining to me through smses that there were gay guys hitting on him. I remember laughing so hard.

The birth of Left Boob was somewhere in February that year.

Had many a good shows to watch when Bazli would regularly loose his cool at our English teacher and attempt to throw chairs at her causing her to cry and resulting in his demerit points to become a negative value.

Learnt to cope with the loss of our guy friends(Dennis, Josh, Bs, Jeh, Vern etc) when they left for college. Made alot of
other friends my own age who are now some of my closest friends to date. Maybe because the boys started to mature then as well. Heh.

2005: This year. (A Levels/National Service/First Year Dentistry)
WOW.

A tumultuous year no doubt. The year of absolute changes. I suddenly found myself leaving home without preparing mentally or emotionally for it. A-levels whizzed by, I became engrossed in the blogging community, I was called for national service,
four days after the Merdeka March I came up to Kedah to start a 5 year dentistry course - all this happened in slightly more than half a year.

I was close to the regular bloggers in Petaling Street what with all the blog meets and frequent mo liu things we do online together but after an internet deprivation of 3 months(which is like 3 decades if not centuries in Internet years), I became
totally detached and lost in the world where I once belonged to. Having no regular Internet sucks.

But I had other things to worry about like the separation of my bestest best friends in the whole wide world. But we knew that our own ambitions will one day pull us apart to different corners of the world(ok, maybe I'm exaggerating) but far enough
to have the possibility of losing touch with each other.

National Service was an eye opener because I never knew so many people never put an importance in education. It was a lesson learnt and I know this sounds hypocritical but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. So many things to remember. So many things that I'll
never have to do again in my entire life(yay!) and yet some of them I will miss.

Feeling fortunate to have met a bunch of like-minded folks in my dentistry course and if you can click, you know it'll be good. I realise it'll be like my secondary school life, the duration I mean. So I'm in anticipation of what will happen.

I am missing everyone and everything I used to have 3 months ago. In three months, so many many things happened. I hate the feeling that my house seems so temporary to me when I go home for a visit.

2006: Next year (First/Second Year Dentistry)

Hope I don't cave under the stress of anatomy, physiology and biochemistry and don't get kicked out of AIMST for not meeting the requirements to get into Year Two. Will be learning common dental techniques in year two and....actually I have not much planned for Year Two.

I hope for regular Internet Connection.(in the tone the Beauty Queens usually say, "I hope for World Peace."

2015: 10 Years Ahead (28 Years Old)

YES!! I should be done with my compulsory government service and *might* be specialising. I would love to be an orthodontic and make crazy money. Cze-Yin(my housemate) who worked for Dr.Jagjit(my orthodontist) said that he earns RM3000 in a day. I must make crazy money in order to pay off my PTPTN loan(RM102,500).

Hopefully I have enough money for marriage and would have settled down. I need to fertilize my eggs before they grow mouldy(age 35).

Like how the girls and I once made a vow to each other in our crapbooks: We'd visit each other's families during Chinese New Year and spoil each other's children with fat angpow packets.

Yes, there would be our Yacht(JoSterDee - Jo stands for Jolene, Ster stands for Esther and Dee stands for Meldee) which will carry us out into the sea on a lazy Sunday afternoon. We'd get turned on by our hired sexy sailors and watch dolphins flipping around*Jo, Mel and Esther waves at particular dolphin in recognition*.

I want to be a woman of the world. Buy anything my heart desires. No longer having the need to be really wary of her spendings. (Fuck damn, why must they increase the price of a Paddle Pop?). But let's not kid ourselves.

We'll only know if we've had it made by the time we're 40. I'm definitely not a super woman, so a huge income seems impossible at only age 28. But we always, hope for the best, don't we?

That was a damn long post. I think I need to go and have a shit! Take care you all!

Posted on September 27th, 2005 by Jayelle
Filed under: old blog